Photo: Pixabay.
The magician, before the captivated and astonished gaze of his audience, finally pulls the white rabbit everyone was waiting for out of the hat. Applause. This magician, after long rehearsals in front of a mirror, knew how he was going to perform the trick, and, luckily, so did the rabbit. Neither of them improvises anything. The same is true of the comedian, who delivers a speech before the attentive gaze of his audience, emphasizing the elements that elicit the most laughter, or those that create a special atmosphere for punchlines. However, he doesn't improvise his speech, which was surely crafted with pen and paper for hours, and perhaps days, in front of a mirror. He probably adjusts it based on the audience's reaction during the performance. Fulton Sheen, the bishop who rivaled the Beatles in audience numbers, dedicated 30 hours to preparation in order to "improvise" a one-hour program.
As we can see, we can't improvise, since we always use the skills and habits we've previously acquired and adapt them to a new situation. This doesn't mean we can't learn or acquire new habits throughout life when circumstances require it. We can refer especially to the circumstances we're currently experiencing with the lockdown to prevent the spread of COVID-19, which forced us to become homeschoolers overnight. Even so, we can't improvise and give what we don't have. This is why it's so important to equip ourselves—and our children—with good habits, because neither great achievements nor great failures can be improvised.
Now, since the suspension of in-person classes, all parents have started improvising . In reality, as we've seen, we can't improvise, since we all act according to the good and bad habits we've acquired, and, in this specific case, we're acting as educators, good or bad, but within a purely familial or minimal nuclear context, without other institutions to help us. We'll have to dust off our old habits!
“But I feel like I’m improvising all day long!” a mother might say. “I’m trying to turn my house into a school, but I just can’t manage it.” To improvise or not, that is the question. “Before, I just helped my children with their homework, and now I have to be the teacher, the tutor, the parent, and the mother and father all at the same time!”
Relax! We understand the worry and the feeling of being overwhelmed. Many of us are in the same boat. But let's look at some points that can help you succeed in your attempt to be the teacher-professor-parent to your children, so you don't have to improvise and can emerge relatively unscathed from the attempt. First, we need to prepare our trick, then rehearse in front of the mirror, and then take the stage.
The trick
First, you need to think about what you want your children to achieve. You've probably already considered this, as it's part of your family's educational plan, and you've likely asked yourself at some point whether you want your children to be happy, honest, bilingual, artistic, generous, and so on, as part of that family project. However, in these circumstances, you should ask yourself again, very seriously, what you want for your children. Keep in mind that there will be many things you can no longer do due to isolation or the closure of activities. This will be a good time to consider whether the plan you envision for your children depends solely on external factors or is rooted in a more solid foundation of human and transcendent relationships; whether this plan relies heavily on external support or can stand on its own; whether your children are independent or you need to be constantly hovering over them; whether they are free or controlled by external influences.
It's time to examine our approach, thoroughly and seriously. What kind of children do we want them to be? What habits do we want them to develop so they don't have to improvise in their lives? How are we approaching this? Let's think about what our children truly need . Given the circumstances, we can't settle for trivial things.
Now, among the habits we want our children to acquire, we must pay special attention, both during these times of crisis and outside of any crisis, to creating spaces and routines that allow for the acquisition of other habits. Therefore, we will need to establish set schedules so that our children can find time to make a sustained effort through studying or completing tasks assigned by the school or their own chores; define and limit the time spent using technology ; plan shared leisure time , preferably unstructured or free; and create moments of community , such as family meals, etc.
It seems simple, but how hard it is to maintain it day after day! It's undoubtedly difficult, but nobody said it would be easy. The encouraging thing is that these habits are immune to crises, even to age.
On the other hand, we have to understand that the home is not a school. Or, rather, it is, but not formally. While parents are their children's primary educators, and the school secondarily collaborates with parents in the education and development of children and young people, we cannot recreate a school environment at home , nor is it necessary. We will follow the school's guidelines, of course, but the house remains a family home and should not be transformed into a school. We will have to establish special routines for them to do their homework and follow the school's schedule, but within the usual family atmosphere. Parents can't become teachers in 14 days. They will do what is within their reach, without overwhelming or becoming overwhelmed themselves! Children need healthy parents!
Test
After thinking up the trick, let's rehearse... although this time the rabbits will be your children and yourselves.
First, you'll have to rehearse the trick in front of the mirror. This means reviewing your own parenting habits, since your children will adopt them by observing you. It's a good time to examine your own habits and behaviors and compare them to the "mirror of the trick" you envisioned as part of your family's educational plan. Remember, nothing is improvised! You must rise to the occasion!
Secondly, when it's "class time," schedule short lessons of about 20 minutes (especially for younger children and those who don't have a study habit) in a place at home where they are used to doing homework. Emphasize serious, deliberate, and thorough work . Avoid distractions , such as messages arriving on Mom's cell phone or an older sibling playing loudly. Schedule short but frequent breaks , preferably outdoors. Avoid all types of screens during recess and for most of the time at home, as they won't be very helpful for developing attention, imagination, vocabulary, and willpower.
Reward good behavior or achievements, focusing on effort rather than results. Individual attention is key in this regard , both in praise and correction, if possible.
Promote a gradual approach to learning ; not everything can be learned all at once or in a single day. It takes time. The important thing is to form the habit . In this way, you will find the right time for each child to do their activities, their learning pace, and their strengths and weaknesses. But don't worry, this is just a trial run. There will be time to correct and adjust what works best for each child.
Function
When the time comes to put it into practice, they'll only have to implement what they know works, because they've already thought through their strategy, their family's educational plan, and the habits they want to develop; they've rehearsed it and compared it to their own habits, implemented certain simple but consistent habits over time; now all that's left is to take the stage. Here they'll have to overcome any fears that might assail them. Whether or not they're doing things right. Whether they're demanding too much. Whether it's normal to lose patience, etc. Relax! It's very difficult to go wrong with such a thorough process. And even if they do, they'll be doing what they thought was best for their children. After all, it can't be that bad.
They will also have to overcome the fatigue of performing for many hours a day. Since the play they have chosen is a one-act play, they will be performing from morning till night. For this, they will need a good prompter to give them feedback on their progress, and they can work with him, taking breaks to review the script together, remaining true to the author's intention. The important thing is not to give up. If we know where we want to go, we will make the effort dedicated to that day, persevering, advancing little by little toward the goal. One day at a time! But without losing sight of our direction or wasting time.
As you can see, it's not possible to be a homeschooler in 14 days. But it is possible to be a home that educates, primarily through example and then through actions, doing what works best for your children, but always seeking what's best for them. And not just for 14 days, but for eternity. Don't get discouraged!
